Well, here we are starting a whole new year. 2021. It sounds so futuristic, doesn’t it!?
I do like the beginning of the year. It’s time to start afresh. Begin something new, create new goals and dream big. Today is not just another “today” – it’s the first of our clean pages of a whole year waiting for what we will write into our lives and what greatness we will pull from within.
Here’s the thing – No matter how you enter this year, whether you’re running straight into a bright season, whether you’re limping across the finish line or whether you are crawling your way out of a tough calendar. You are enough! You’ve got this!
Flicking through social media this morning got me feeling a bit down in the strangest of ways — I was feeling down for having such a good 2020. It’s been a tough year for most, I know, and sadly not everyone made it through safe and sound. And don’t get me wrong, I have had my moments, I have felt down and I have missed friends and family, but I’m a bit of an optimist. I have to be. I don’t like to dwell, I don’t like to be negative, it’s just not who I am. It’s too draining and unhealthy. I have to try and see the good in a bad situation.
I remember thinking back in March when we went into lockdown 1.0 “how the hell am I going to survive this?”. Panic had well and truly set in. How do I protect my family from this virus? I can’t homeschool. I don’t even like staying in the house!
But you know what, I had my moment of panic, and I moved on. I had no choice.
My OCD with the daily cleaning routine, however, went through the roof. I’m not too sure how other families were coping but everything was being disinfected. DAILY! and I mean everything! So much so, that it’s now known as the ‘daily de-rona’. Walls, doors, surfaces, devices, handles, even the food shop gets de-rona’d! I’m such a crazy cleaning lady nowadays, not that I wasn’t before, it’s just extra clean now ha ha! . . . But we’re safe at home, so I must be doing something right? Maybe? Or am I just insane? Ha ha!
School work needed to be done, ugh! I have absolutely no idea what my kids learn at school, I can’t do math, I bunked every history class when I was at school and don’t even get me started on geography! But what I am is creative. So that’s what I did. I created. I created a whole classroom atmosphere and planned lessons and had fun with it. From the million worksheets that were printed off to joining other online classes and tutorials. Nature trails in the woods and home cookery lessons. It all counts. There was no point in stressing and making the kids miserable. I won’t lie, I had my share of moments, thinking I can’t do this, I can’t carry on. . . but I did! We were all stuck indoors. I knew I had to make it work. For my family. And yes, we may have been off topic, and we may have not learned what we were meant to, but what we did learn was how to cope. How to survive. We learned life lessons. We made our own happiness. And to be honest, my girls have made me super proud with their schools reports since being back in school. I couldn’t of asked for more from them.
Even though we were stuck in lockdown, it didn’t mean that all was lost. Even though all of our holidays, trips and activities for the year were cancelled. It didn’t mean we couldn’t explore. It didn’t mean we needed to be sad. My children are living through history right now. We had such amazing weather, how could I sit at home moping about that I wasn’t on my holiday? Instead, we went hunting for secluded places, secret waterfalls and woodland walks. We appreciated everything that we had around us. We made art with nature, fed wildlife, grew our own food and watched the night sky – we enjoyed every moment that we hadn’t really noticed before. The full moons, the satellites, the epic thunderstorms, the flooding of the garage (at 2am in our pj’s!), the peace and quiet, the sunrises. We learned new skills, gained new hobbies and learned so much more about ourselves than we ever could of imagined. What we can overcome and what we can achieve if we just put our minds to it.
I even went back to college! I mean, how many attempts at college I had in my younger days I don’t know, but I actually stuck it out this time, I qualified in all three of my different courses. I then went on to get a diploma! I actually can’t believe it still. Like I actually have a diploma! I made plans for the future, and albeit, they might not happen in 2021 still, but gosh it feels good to know that I am on the right path to where I want to be in life. And I have the “shit show” of 2020 to thank for that. It gave me time to concentrate on myself and put my family first more so than any other year.
I think it’s safe to say that 2020 hasn’t been everyone’s cup of tea. We know that. We’ve missed family visits, outings with friends and celebrating those special days. But we’re thankful for what we have got. Were thankful that our families and friends are safe and healthy. We’re thankful for technology — there has been a few times I’ve mentioned to the kids how lucky they are to have all this amazing technology to stay in touch with friends and family. We Zoom partied, held online quizzes, FaceTimed with drinks and had socially distant meet ups on the driveway. We did what we could. With what we had. And we will continue to do so.
This New Year, there will be steps to celebrate and moments of fear, moments of joy and moments of learning by failure. But in each, I want to be present, I want to rise, be my best self and become stronger. For you, for me, we will celebrate each stride. I want to allow myself to be me and to be happy in where I am and who I am.
And I want that for you too.
Be brilliant. Be you. You are enough!
nay nay x